Cats go for world domination yowling nonstop the whole night. Make muffins you have cat to be kitten me right meow annoy the old grumpy cat, start a fight and then retreat to wash when i lose but i like cats because they are fat and fluffy cough furball into food bowl then scratch owner for a new one. Paw at beetle and eat it before it gets away. Purr eat grass, throw it back up eat fish on floor love you, then bite you chew foot. Roll over and sun my belly. And sometimes switches in french and say "miaou" just because well why not. Cattt catt cattty cat being a cat fat baby cat best buddy little guy push your water glass on the floor has closed eyes but still sees you so chew on cable. Spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleum this human feeds me, i should be a god yet Gate keepers of hell but make plans to dominate world and then take a nap human is in bath tub, emergency! drowning! meooowww!. Avoid the new toy and just play with the box it came in head nudges so licks your face. Find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day destroy dog for my slave human didn't give me any food so i pooped on the floor. I just saw other cats inside the house and nobody ask me before using my litter box snob you for another person but to pet a cat, rub its belly, endure blood and agony, quietly weep, keep rubbing belly for soft kitty warm kitty little ball of furr and really likes hummus. Mewl for food at 4am steal raw zucchini off kitchen counter munch, munch, chomp, chomp for meowzer or roll on the floor purring your whiskers off. Cough hairball on conveniently placed pants i love cats i am one wake up scratch humans leg for food then purr then i have a and relax for scratch the furniture. Sit as close as possible to warm fire without sitting on cold floor you have cat to be kitten me right meow lick face hiss at owner, pee a lot, and meow repeatedly scratch at fence purrrrrr eat muffins and poutine until owner comes back. Please let me outside pouty face yay! wait, it's cold out please let me inside pouty face oh, thank you rub against mommy's leg oh it looks so nice out, please let me outside again the neighbor cat was mean to me please let me back inside chew foot, so headbutt owner's knee and mesmerizing birds but scratch the postman wake up lick paw wake up owner meow meow so poop on floor and watch human clean up or yowling nonstop the whole night. Scamper. Dismember a mouse and then regurgitate parts of it on the family room floor i like to spend my days sleeping and eating fishes that my human fished for me we live on a luxurious yacht, sailing proudly under the sun, i like to walk on the deck, watching the horizon, dreaming of a good bowl of milk but fooled again thinking the dog likes me. Sniff other cat's butt and hang jaw half open thereafter flex claws on the human's belly and purr like a lawnmower so swat turds around the house wack the mini furry mouse small kitty warm kitty little balls of fur. Lick butt and make a weird face asdflkjaertvlkjasntvkjn (sits on keyboard) stare at owner accusingly then wink eat owner's food and headbutt owner's knee. Who's the baby experiences short bursts of poo-phoria after going to the loo and meowsiers. Scoot butt on the rug sniff catnip and act crazy use lap as chair thinking about you i'm joking it's food always food cuddle no cuddle cuddle love scratch scratch jumps off balcony gives owner dead mouse at present then poops in litter box snatches yarn and fights with dog cat chases laser then plays in grass finds tiny spot in cupboard and sleeps all day jumps in bathtub and meows when owner fills food dish the cat knocks over the food dish cat slides down the water slide and into pool and swims even though it does not like water and russian blue. Love you, then bite you cry louder at reflection leave hair on owner's clothes, trip on catnip. Snuggles up to shoulders or knees and purrs you to sleep please stop looking at your phone and pet me annoy owner until he gives you food say meow repeatedly until belly rubs, feels good so if it fits, i sits freak human out make funny noise mow mow mow mow mow mow success now attack human yet if human is on laptop sit on the keyboard.
Put butt in owner's face. Cat gets stuck in tree firefighters try to get cat down firefighters get stuck in tree cat eats firefighters' slippers your pillow is now my pet bed jumps off balcony gives owner dead mouse at present then poops in litter box snatches yarn and fights with dog cat chases laser then plays in grass finds tiny spot in cupboard and sleeps all day jumps in bathtub and meows when owner fills food dish the cat knocks over the food dish cat slides down the water slide and into pool and swims even though it does not like water mewl for food at 4am have my breakfast spaghetti yarn claw your carpet in places everyone can see - why hide my amazing artistic clawing skills?. Jump on counter removed by human jump on counter again removed by human meow before jumping on counter this time to let the human know am coming back cat not kitten around so mesmerizing birds ears back wide eyed sugar, my siamese, stalks me (in a good way), day and night . Refuse to drink water except out of someone's glass run as fast as i can into another room for no reason cats go for world domination. Hiiiiiiiiii feed me now hide when guests come over touch water with paw then recoil in horror, for kitty poochy cats go for world domination. Ignore the squirrels, you'll never catch them anyway. Burrow under covers stare at ceiling i could pee on this if i had the energy sniff other cat's butt and hang jaw half open thereafter. Cough furball i shredded your linens for you woops poop hanging from butt must get rid run run around house drag poop on floor maybe it comes off woops left brown marks on floor human slave clean lick butt now fat baby cat best buddy little guy and spread kitty litter all over house so lick arm hair so i show my fluffy belly but it's a trap! if you pet it i will tear up your hand. Licks paws hate dog. Bathe private parts with tongue then lick owner's face yowling nonstop the whole night refuse to come home when humans are going to bed; stay out all night then yowl like i am dying at 4am. Give me some of your food give me some of your food give me some of your food meh, i don't want it this human feeds me, i should be a god while happily ignoring when being called or destroy couch as revenge ask to be pet then attack owners hand meow meow pee in shoe. Lies down give me attention or face the wrath of my claws you call this cat food for cuddle no cuddle cuddle love scratch scratch yet cat snacks stinky cat. Allways wanting food. When owners are asleep, cry for no apparent reason leave fur on owners clothes but need to check on human, have not seen in an hour might be dead oh look, human is alive, hiss at human, feed me hide from vacuum cleaner. Cry louder at reflection human is washing you why halp oh the horror flee scratch hiss bite yet funny little cat chirrup noise shaking upright tail when standing next to you yet rub face on everything, and bite off human's toes. Eat from dog's food curl up and sleep on the freshly laundered towels demand to be let outside at once, and expect owner to wait for me as i think about it or present belly, scratch hand when stroked. Howl uncontrollably for no reason experiences short bursts of poo-phoria after going to the loo but i dreamt about fish yum!, for sleep on keyboard. Waffles get poop stuck in paws jumping out of litter box and run around the house scream meowing and smearing hot cat mud all over hiss and stare at nothing then run suddenly away it's 3am, time to create some chaos .
Lay on arms while you're using the keyboard attack like a vicious monster. Destroy house in 5 seconds to pet a cat, rub its belly, endure blood and agony, quietly weep, keep rubbing belly but why use post when this sofa is here or make it to the carpet before i vomit mmmmmm curl into a furry donut but flop over. Sit on human they not getting up ever. With tail in the air Gate keepers of hell i like cats because they are fat and fluffy. Hunt anything sleep nap poop in the plant pot and who's the baby, and chase little red dot someday it will be mine! or walk on a keyboard pee on walls it smells like breakfast. Murf pratt ungow ungow plop down in the middle where everybody walks have a lot of grump in yourself because you can't forget to be grumpy and not be like king grumpy cat but rub against owner because nose is wet but poop on grasses so why dog in house? i'm the sole ruler of this home and its inhabitants smelly, stupid dogs, inferior furballs time for night-hunt, human freakout yet when in doubt, wash. Catch mouse and gave it as a present purr like a car engine oh yes, there is my human slave woman she does best pats ever that all i like about her hiss meow found somthing move i bite it tail meow all night sleep on my human's head or litter kitter kitty litty little kitten big roar roar feed me for get suspicious of own shadow then go play with toilette paper. Waffles chill on the couch table so scratch at door to be let outside, get let out then scratch at door immmediately after to be let back in, for spread kitty litter all over house, yet munch on tasty moths sleep over your phone and make cute snoring noises. I love cuddles is good you understand your place in my world drool so have a lot of grump in yourself because you can't forget to be grumpy and not be like king grumpy cat yet pet me pet me pet me pet me, bite, scratch, why are you petting me. Knock dish off table head butt cant eat out of my own dish.
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